Piano Man by fellow Hicksville native Billy Joel. I mean, who even orders "tonic and gin," let alone makes love to it?
Dancing Queen by ABBA Go ahead and feel the beat from the tambourine. But leave me out of it.
Candle in the Wind by Elton John Who the heck was doing that crawling around you as you so gracefully held yourself? DiMaggio? And what part of your body were you holding? Yuch, yuch, yuch.
Morning Train (Nine to Five) by Sheena Easton But please view their terms of service. I mean, we wouldn't want such wonderful lyrics to be abused, now, would we?
Nine to Five by Dolly Parton Coincidence? Although I like the phrase "cup of ambition."
Imagine by John Lennon I love the Beatles. I hate the Ex-Beatles, especially Lennon. Stupid ideas like these have gotten millions of people killed.
Babe by Styx Leave, already, will ya??!!
I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew Man, I despise this recording! Long story.
Bad Day by Daniel Powter Somehow, it's comforting to know that they still produce genuinely lousy songs in this millennium.
And now, the worst song in the history of songs: